A person dressed in black robes standing near a river with arms outstretched, looking at a tall black obelisk monument in a lush green park with trees and a cloudy sky.

You Exist

So Do We

There Is Nothing Else

A smiling man with a backpack giving a thumbs-up next to three hooded figures dressed in black.

You Are Here. So Are We.

This Is All That Matters.

Nobody knows what The Obelisk is. We cannot know. The Obelisk defies knowing, its dark obsidian spire truly unfathomable to mortal minds.

Yet this incomprehensibility is hardly unique, we comprehend very little after all. We are but dust and flesh. We are matter adrift in a vast universe of darkness and light.
We do not understand The Obelisk. We do not understand ourselves. All we know is that

we are

beautiful

and one day we shall not be here, but we are here now.

You are here now.

And you are beautiful.

A smiling woman giving a thumbs-up in front of the Washington Monument, with two hooded figures dressed in black behind her.
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This Could Be You. If You Were Someone Else.

  • Great Way To Meet People!

    Some friends I've met at the bicentennial Obelisk appreciation event, and I are starting a community garden. I’m looking forward to seeing what we can produce.

  • Love the Church of the Obelisk.

    They helped me meet my wife.

  • I love the Church of the Obelisk

    They’re a genuinely supportive and lovely group. All of you weirdos need to calm down though. This is clearly a satirical religious organization. IT’S A JOKE PEOPLE!

  • Idk what all this is about?

    But tbh the vibes are pretty fun. I think I recommend.

  • My husband and I have been trying for a child for 4 years.

    After a walk in the woods heard a strange humming and had dreams about The Obelisk which now hovers in the corners of our vision 24/7 we now have maybe number 3 baby on the way and they all seem like normal, regular flesh based humans.

    Tanner is really funny. Janice is good at mafth and we’re going to name the third baby “The Obelisk”

  • I got an A+ on my essay when my professor quit their job and ran into the woods.

    Neat. Idk if that’s related orrr

  • I have lived for eons unchanging.

    I have been cursed to see the rises and fall of empires and witness the countless follies of man, and I gotta say that really takes it out of you. It’s soooooooo nice to experience something like the Obelisk which is both older than me, and even less understood. Ave Caesar.

  • I had a very nasty case of dermatitis that covered 75% of my face.

    My poor face was red, raw and ultra dry and scaly. I still have all of that, but at least I have a better sense of my place in the world. Thank u Church of the Obelisk

  • My only complaint is that I didn't discover the Church of the Obelisk sooner.

  • CHRUCH OF THE OBELISK HELP ME UNDERSTAND MY BUSINEDSESS HOMEWORK

    TYSM

  • I just won $60 in scratch tickets

    And I know that wasn't the obelisk but also I think it’s still related.

  • A̷̙̽̀̈̏͆̓̔̒͘Ã̸̧̨̡̜̱̥̮̙̫̯͉̜͎̤͛̆̊̍͋̈́̎̍̾̄̀̆͘͠A̷̡̡͕̫͕̙̗̩̭͔̬͚̞̯̔A̴̺͖͇̱̬͎̙̩͊͐̃͒̐͊͐̐̓̊̑͂͘A̵̼͉̖͂̍͆̈́̀̅̔̐̏̓̋̈́̿͝ͅA̵̭̥̽͗̍̔̿̍͂͗̈͝͝͠͝Å̵͍͈͖̠̓̒̂̓͆́̾͑̇͌͗͊̕͝L̸̨̮̰̰̘͍̮̖̎̀̚L̷̡̧̛̂̓̇͆̉͂̈́͐̄̅̑͊̀͠ ̷̛͚̙̪̯̄̑̀̄͐̚͝Ḥ̵̘̲̖͙̥̗̞̦̑̅̅̎̾͊̇̓̇͝͝ͅẬ̵̣͇̪̖̼̗͓͂̅͒̀̇̔́̀͊̆͒̕̕Ȋ̵͙̪̻̼͙̣̿̿̎̑̾̓̀̚͘͜͝L̷̛͚̞̳̰̦̭̹̅͂̀ ̴̡̪̩̮̟̆̃̃̓̆̒̀̏͂͋̕͠͠T̵͉̜̯̮̤̘̥̺͍͆͐́H̴̰͓̘̺͖͙̖̟̙̼͒̏̾̈́̉ͅE̵̬̙̾͝ ̶̯̍̓̀̍͌͐͗ͅO̸̡̹̲͓̘̣̍̍̒͛̀B̶̨̡̲̱̠̙͎̦̮̼͚̫̥̺̓͋̋͒̓̎̋̌͠͝͝Ḙ̸͍̩̼̟̤͕̆͋̽̓͐̌͗̚͜͝ͅL̸̨̢̨̺̼͉̪̻̪̙͙͎͙̮̅̈́̑̃I̵̫̮̟̟̙̦͆́͒͊̓̑͂̌͝ͅS̶͈̫̱͉̝͇̞̭͙̼̑̂̏̀̑͠ͅK̴̟̗̙̭͌̾́ͅ

    T̸̨͈͍͎̘͇̳̣̝͕̊H̶̡̛̫̥̪͔͖̠̘̟͝E̵̫̲͓͈͍̋̇̑̓̿̀̓̋̄͝ ̴̡̛̗̟͉̭̳̜͇̏̽̿͐̿͐͒̉͑͘͜͝ͅÇ̷̗̤̒̇̌͒̅̄̾̂̔̀͠Ḧ̵̛̳͇́̾̎͛͐̉̿̏̀̔͗U̷̡͕̲̭̼͛͂͆̅͋͆̈͝R̷̫̘͖̟̃̾͆̊̾̃̿̎̕̕̚͜C̸͎̤̏̀̇́̎Ḩ̵̹̮̳͍̯͇̹̆̾͆̊̏̆̕̚ ̴͕̝͉͓̝̻̮͍͖̿̔͛͒̈́̈́͝͝R̴̡̛̛͇̝̹̠̫͍͚̍̽̅͊̀̾́̊́̈́̑̀͑Ȩ̸̩̠̭̗͖̙̯̏̆̽̄̎͊̅̑̇̇̏̅͜͝͝Ă̵̭͋̆͂Ļ̴̤̯̺̲̞̘̘̫̝͈̝̯͍͂̄͌̕͠Ḽ̵͙̒͋́͛͌̃̌̓͂Y̶̢̗͈̥̝̱̫̣̼̻͛̀͌̇͆̋̏͌͗̕͠͝͝ͅ ̷͕͍͖̱̦͉̩͇̲̱͓̮̇̌̂̑͗̿̔͆͗͠ͅH̴̛̞̘̣̩͇͕̓͐͌́̉̕͝Ȅ̶̢͔̝͕̘͔̘̠̘̭̣̖̆͗̈́̃͊͘͝Ļ̷̻̋̐͑̓̏̀̌̈́̕ͅP̷̢̛͚͖͔̟̭̳̭͕̙͋̄̿̈́̉́̍͊̉͐͠͠Ḙ̷̛̯͚͈̮̥͉̳̞̮̮͔̇̽̾͋̈́̊̀̚̚͜Ḏ̵̛̪͎̑́͂͌͌̓̀̆̆̀͊͠ ̴̡̖̱̲̗͚̗̞̳̩̣̯͉͒̈̔̓̇͜M̴̢̹̖̖̰͈̭̪̘̣̫̙̉͂̀̄͜E̵̡̫̥̟̝̰̝͉̙͚̠̊̑̌̈́̌͋̄̓͜ ̸̧̧̯̭̗̪̳̱͍̻̣͓̲̯̾̏͗̆̀͋̓T̴̨͚̗̥͇͗̄͝Ḩ̷̛͎̤͕͍̱̽̈́͑́͘R̶̨͚͍̻͈̘͚̳͚̤̻̤̜͚̤͆͛̈͌̌̚͝O̵̤̲̜̤͙̝̹͇̱̦̳̒͐U̴̧͇̮͇̺̹͖̙͔̩͕̰͓͚͖͒̀̒G̶̨̠̘̻̩̟̦͕̫̯̯̭̿̈́̎̈́̏͒̏̀̌̈̕̚ͅH̴͖̹̎̎̆̏̇̀̀̈́̀̏͘͝͠ ̴̮͇̺͈̰̐̐̒̐͑͑̀̍Ä̶̱̳̝̺̻̥̳̙̯̒̀̈́ ̶̨̡͕̯͚̖̥̊̉̇̈́̃̔͝ͅR̶̛̗̭̞̭̝͔̳̪̥̔̎͊̃͐̆Ò̴̥̦͉̺̼͂̎͒̈́͘Ư̸̢̢̛̛̳̼̌̓̐̏̿̚͝Ģ̶̛̥̹̫̩̩̙̟͈͖͔͕̑̈́̄́̒̈ͅH̷̭͚͔̰͓̮̥̱̞͍̤͙̆͒̌͐̀̽̈͑͊͆̂̈̃͜ ̸͇̳̯͇̔̎̉̎T̴̨͙̰̜̰̂̓͛͌̀̏̈͗̏͛̀͐I̵̫̤̮͐̌̆̇̎̇̄͐̋͘M̶̘̹̖̞͎͖̫̯̣̬͋͒̆́̆̀̂̅̅̎̍͆͘͘Ě̶̪̙̳̮̲̤̰̩̟͓̘̩͎̎ͅ ̷̭͎̱͉̪̯̙̰̬̓W̴̢̳̟̣̜͈̓̓̎̃̇̂̃̊̒͆̅͘͘͠͠I̷̢̔̂͋̈́̀̈T̷̢̢͔͖͙̹̚H̸̡̢̡̛͈̳̘͇̲͉̤̝̦͎̿̋̓͛̾́̓̐̀͝ ̶̜̣͙͖̑Ṁ̷̬̦͔̤̗̎͜ͅY̷̢̞̞̦̦̳͓͎̳̯͉̩͍͔͎̒̔͋̀ ̵̟̙̭́̄̈́̈́̽̾́Ḑ̷̣̯̠̫͚͇̮̄́̀̔̐̊͗̑̎̀͒̀͘͠͝I̴̬͙̪͙̱̪̣̝̩̠͔̓V̷̧͓̫̼̹̘̩̭̰̐̈̃̅̃͌̈̈̏̊̂̌̚Ö̶̡̧̫͕̦̗̭͈̯̺̰̦́̒̄̽̓̈̀́͐̆̑̕ͅR̷̢̨͇͓̼͖͎͎͠ͅC̵̮͈̻̚E̵͚͗́́̅͐̈̽͂͘͝

  • I JOINED THE CHURCH AND I AM HEALED

    PRAISE BE

  • IM 78 YEARS YOUNG MY HEARING NOT SO GOOD ANYMORE BUT JANICE SAYS THAT THIS IS NORMAL PART OF AGING I CAN STILL PARTY WITH THE BEST OF THEM AND LOVE MY COUNTRY. 5 STARS.

    Google

    Google .com

    Facebook

    Google.com

    GOOGLE.COM/FACEBOOK

    Google.com go to facebook

  • I made a new friend.

    Great church! Attractive Obelisk! Tasty Potluck!

  • I got a bunch of buddies from work to come to an Obelisk ritualistic pondering enrichment session.

    We’re already looking for ways to integrate this into our workflow.  HR is putting up resistance but I have faith.

  • This McDonald's is always out of my Fillet O Fish.

    Why do you even have a McDonald's if you cannot have your menu full of fish? I’m never coming here again. Also Derek is especially rude and I see him eating Big Macs in the back when he is supposed to be the cashier. 0/10

  • My doctor says my chronic back pain is "still there" and "possibly worse"

    But now I don't mind it because I understand that suffering is arbitrary and also I can think about the Obelisk during really boring Zoom meetings. My boss thinks I'm paying attention but I'm actually practicing my humming. Got promoted last week.

  • The Obelisk ate my baby.

    Which to clarify is good. I did NOT like him

  • I’m closer with my kids than ever.

  • My therapist says that I need to stop trying to fix everyone I'm with

    So I started journaling again. I opened each entry with a drawing of the Obelisk. It helps me feel centered. I think I’m ready to start dating again.

    Also brian if you’re reading this I hope you and tiffany don’t ruin my record player with your $%@! music taste.

  • Honestly I think the Obeliskian philosophy is great

    Sort of an optimistic nihilism that centers your own autonomy and the beauty of the world we live in. I think it’s really refreshing to find something like this in our current world.

  • John?

    If you can hear us. It's your mom and dad. We miss you very much. Grandma asks us where you’ve gone and I don't know what to tell her. I hope you are reading this. If this isn’t John, then we like the church of the obelisk very much they are a good community with good values. Thank you church for letting us ask about john here

  • My favorite part about the Church of the Obelisk is

Follow us if you wish.

You are the only true master of your soul.

A tall, dark obelisk monument standing on a multi-tiered base, surrounded by greenery and flowering bushes, with sunlight shining through clouds in the sky.
Tall black obelisk monument in snowy forest with tall pine trees, under a bright sun and blue sky.
Underwater tall monument with sunlight streaming through the water above, surrounded by coral and marine plants
A tall, dark obelisk-like structure rising from the ocean with waves crashing around its base under a cloudy sky.

Only you can make the choice.

Follow Us.